perspective adjustment

i love, love, love how heavenly father knows our needs better than we do. (well... i don't always LOVE it - especially when it doesn't quite add up with what i think i need at the time. one of us always turns out to be right, though. hint: it's not me.) i've been getting some gentle nudges lately to help me keep an eternal perspective now that i'm in the home stretch of being alone with the kids. kam's experience taking pictures for a toddler's funeral and kei's friend's news that the baby she's carrying has severe spina bifida have caused me to pause and look at my children and send up a prayer of thanks. however, that's all they've brought - a pause. a pause in feeling annoyed that kawelo has somehow caught a summer cold and is whiny and clingy. a pause in feeling frustrated that koa doesn't seem ro realize when he is not able to do something himself, yet persists in trying, only to end up extremely upset that he can't do it. (hello, bess, he's three!) a pause in overlooking kalei's needs because she does not demand attention like her brothers. i need to wake up!! i feel like i'm standing in front of the mona lisa and all i'm noticing is the decorative edge on the frame... or a dirt smudge on the wall next to her. everyone has heard of randy pausch (the "last lecture" guy), and the things i have been pondering these last few days were two mantras that his wife used. she said that when she was feeling sad or panicky about her husband's condition, she would tell herself, "i have everything that i need." so true. also, if she started having feelings of anger or depression, she would tell herself, "not helping." again, so true! okay, so here's my resolution: to enjoy these last few days (four, to be exact), but more importantly, to help my children enjoy them. i will not turn into momzilla at the slightest provocation and i will not be the guest of honor at my own exclusive pity party. so, look for some happy, upbeat, non-whiny posts from us in the next few days! this pity party is officially cancelled!